Love in the Real World: Finding Meaning Beyond the Surface

What is the real world when it comes to love? Is it knowing that the person you love the most will be the one to hurt you the most? Easily. You trust, and you love—and no matter what, it won’t change a thing—they will still hurt you. Jesus loved everyone and died on the cross for us, yet you, as a speck of dust in this vast world, think that the people you love won’t hurt you. You think that when you do good for people, they’ll do good for you? Ahhh, no, no—that’s where it all starts to go wrong… thinking! No, don’t think they’re going to love you back, don’t think they’re going to appreciate it, don’t think they’re going to always be there for you. Because the truth is, no one is really there—not loved ones, not family, not a partner. That’s the real world, and in the real world, expectation kills love.

“The moment you can accept the worst of the other without feeling hurt by it, that’s when you can truly love someone.”

The deeper truth is: you only have yourself. Yourself! When you try to face challenges like this in love while resisting this higher truth, your mind will manipulate you, your heart will fool you and your body will give up on you unless you accept this truth. So now—get up and wake up! I’ll say it again: You only have yourself. The reason why we struggle with facing this truth is because we forget ourselves. We forget that we are born alone and die alone. We are distracted from thinking so much about tomorrow and the idea of our relationship instead of facing the reality of ourselves today. Before you get into a relationship, you should have a clear understanding about yourself and how you want to live the way you want to live. Do the things you’re scared of, and do the things you think you can’t, that way you’ll discover who you are first. If you get into a relationship without first knowing yourself, you’re a sure candidate to be hurt by your partner who will show you your darkness that you’re not yet aware of.

“Live your life fully, as if there’s no tomorrow. Because honestly, there’s no tomorrow unless you live for today!”

In my experience from what I’ve observed, we all go through in our own way; trauma, anxiety, depression, big problems that we can’t even share with anyone (even with our partner). It’s hard to live, and yes, it gets harder everyday. But do you know who really cares about what you feel? About what you’re going through? No one. That isn’t a negative statement, it’s a fact, and if you understand it, it will make you less selfish. So stop thinking, stop carrying all that pain, drama, or whatever it is you’re dealing with! Life is hard, but don’t focus too much on the bad things. In time, it will heal. In time, you’ll find the meaning and purpose of your life. Everything we go through makes us stronger and wiser. So don’t be afraid of whatever life throws at you—whatever sadness or pain comes your way.

I don’t think we’ve been unhappy every single moment of our lives, right? There might be bad days, but there are also good days—the days when you’re genuinely happy, the kind of happiness no one can take away from you. You carry those good and beautiful memories in your heart. Focus on that! Focus on yourself, and see how things slowly begin to change. Yes, slowly, because real change doesn’t happen overnight. You’re lying to yourself if you think you can change tomorrow instantly. Real change takes time.

Change the way you think. Change the way you live your sad, boring life that you may have. Change the laziness you’ve been carrying. Change the bad habits you keep repeating. Change what needs to be changed. It’s not too late—not yet. There’s still so much we can change, so much we can heal.

Many people talk about their soul, but what is really the state of our soul? Are we saved? Are we sure we’re not going to hell? Or maybe we’re already living in it? Are we sure we’re truly good people? Are we walking the right path? If you say yes, maybe you’re lying to yourself again. You have to be really honest with yourself. We can say the opposite of ‘soul’ is ‘ego’. The ego takes over the soul. Do you realize how many egos you have or that you even have it? Yes, you have it! You are living with it right now! Do you know what ego is? Ego is another word for “the devil”. But this isn’t some devil outside of us, it’s the devil that each of us carries within. Ego is our false self. Ego is the sum total of all the darkness and negativity we’re carrying, doing, and thinking.

So don’t be ignorant and think that you have someone as a partner, because everyone is living with their own self-illusion. I don’t mean that literally, I mean that while we have ego, our partner is mostly a projection of our own self, or our own “trauma”. Until we become conscious of our own ego and overcome it, then we can really start to see the other person without the filters of our ego, and that’s when we begin to experience real love.

So please, do not be surprised if your loved ones hurt you, because the moment you feel hurt, you already hurt them by feeling hurt—because by feeling hurt, you display that you don’t understand them—and love is always understanding. So do not be surprised if your loved ones hurt you. In fact, expect it. That’s the real world. But don’t take it too seriously—take it lightly. They hurt you and you hurt them because you’re both not awake; it’s just the ego. So wake up. Start the right path—with yourself. Yes, you have ego, but you also have God inside you. And that’s your Being, your divinity beyond yourself. You have it inside you; you just don’t know it. You need to awaken and work on that. Practice self-remembering. Don’t get caught up in your ego. Live your life with your Being. If you do so, you will realize the divine purpose of a sacred union—to show each other your own darkness, and at the same time, have a love big enough to work through it for each other. The moment we feel pain, it is an opportunity to deepen our love, but if you identify with the pain, you will become more bitter, however if you make an effort to love and understand yourself and the other, then a light will grow inside both of you.

Work on yourself now—not later, not in an hour, not tomorrow, not next year. Now! Pay attention to whatever ill-feeling you may carry towards the other which is actually a projection of your own trauma! Laziness stops us from bothering to take a look at it… laziness is ego—stop it! Start changing yourself slowly, and you will see the light, your inner light! Wake up, meditate, and live. Love, and pray!

Ask your inner Father and Mother to guide you in this path, this life, and this transformation. May all the Beings be with you my dear ones.