Luminous Whispers

I am trying to find the right words to express my direct experience of self-discovery, which we can also call a gradual process of genuine happiness—not superficial happiness, but real lasting happiness that radiates from within. The moment I received my gift from divinity—when I asked for a baby because I wanted to be a mother—at that time I wasn’t practicing spirituality as intensely as I am today, although I’ve always been deeply religious with a strong faith from certain direct experiences. Generally though, I was just a normal woman, unaware of the possibility of a much greater consciousness within myself. Honestly, I wasn’t awake, and even now, I’m still not fully awake, but I am practicing. Self-remembering, or remembering one’s Being, becomes gradually easier with life’s profound experiences such as this one.

Going back to the slow process of it all, when I found out I was pregnant, I was happy, anxious, and excited knowing there was a baby inside me. It was an amazing journey—very emotional and life-changing. I started learning without even realizing it. Being a mother feels like a free pass to becoming a better person and awakening my consciousness to the universal divine mother inside each woman. My life slowly began changing into a more profound existence. In the past I have dealt with a lot of suffering and difficulties, but the moment a child is given to you, you no longer matter, and that is very liberating.

I’m not lying when I say that I had many moments which were not so ecstatic during my journey. There was suffering and difficulty that caused me to kneel down and ask all the Saints, Masters, and God to heal me from the pain I was going through. Looking back, I learned that for there to space inside for a new level of consciousness, the old parts of me had to be washed away. I wasn’t happy for the struggles, but they were a great help in my transformation into who I have become as a mother. When I was around seven years old, I had a divine dream of Mother Mary pushing me on a swing. On a deeper level, I always knew I was meant to become a mother.

The exciting part wasn’t just the baby growing inside me; it was when I really saw it, touched its soft skin, and realized how small, fragile and pure he was. I couldn’t believe what I had gone through. I couldn’t believe I had a tiny little human being. I didn’t cry or feel ecstatic when I first saw him right in front of me. After giving birth, I didn’t know how to process anything in that moment—no impressions, no excitement, no feeling. It was a prolonged, conscious shock. Maybe five or ten minutes later as I came back down to earth, I began to feel an expansive happiness, and with teary eyes, I really looked at my baby. I was in love in that moment. I delivered the baby normally and naturally, in the right way.

The feeling was that I didn’t mind dying in that moment. I was just very happy—genuinely happy. This was real happiness, like I’ve never felt before in my life. I was truly blessed. When there is real happiness, there is no more fear, no more wanting, just deep, abiding peace.

The afterglow of the conscious shock still lingered with me, and in many ways is still with me now. I can definitely say it was the same for my husband too, who was radiating light and joy the whole time. Not even a shadow of fear or anxiety crossed his mind as he stood by me, fully present and filled with awe, witnessing me bring our child into the world. I could say with certainty that it was the first time he truly felt what it means to be a father.

He was unwaveringly supportive and deeply loving, embodying strength and tenderness in a way that touched my soul. My partner is one of the greatest blessings in my life, a guiding light who has shaped me into the mother I am becoming. I would never take this sacred moment away from him, for in his own way, he too gave birth to our child—together, we shared in this divine creation. This experience is not just ours but a gift from the heavens, a moment of profound love and transformation that will forever unite us as a family.

Motherhood is one of the most profound experiences a woman can undergo. For me, it was not just the birth of my child, but the birth of a new awareness beyond myself through the child—an awakening of consciousness that has allowed me to experience true happiness in a way I never thought possible, that on a deeper level has its foundation in love and the exaltation of sacrifice.

“No one can diminish the sacred role of a mother, for she embodies divine sacrifice, offering all she has for her children. A mother, guided by divine love, would stand between her children and death itself.”

Before becoming a mother, I was often caught in the chase of external achievements. I thought happiness was something to be found in career milestones, personal success, or material possessions. I constantly felt like I was striving, moving toward something that was just out of reach. But nothing I attained ever gave me the deep sense of fulfilment I longed for.

It wasn’t until I held my newborn in my arms for the first time that I realized how much my entire perception of life had been wrong. In that moment, everything else faded away. The material world, with all its distractions and pressures, ceased to matter. I was overwhelmed by an intense love, a love that was beyond anything I had ever known before. It was pure, unconditional, and filled with peace.

Becoming a mother forced me to slow down. It wasn’t just about caring for another being; it was about reconnecting with myself and with life’s true purpose. I began to understand that true happiness doesn’t come from external achievements, ambitions or possessions—it comes from the deep love and joy we experience when we are fully present in the moment. It comes from the inner peace that arises when we release our attachment to the ego and surrender to the joyful flow of life.

Motherhood also brought me face-to-face with my own limitations and imperfections. I had to learn patience, humility, and how to truly care for someone other than myself. This humbling experience taught me that happiness isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being real, accepting our flaws, and embracing the journey of life, with all its highs and lows.

Through motherhood, I’ve learned to live with a deeper sense of purpose and alignment. I no longer seek happiness in external things. I have found it in the love I share with my child, in the quiet moments of reflection, and in the simple joys of everyday life. The joy of being present, of simply being and breathing, as a baby does, is a gift that motherhood has given me.

True happiness is not a goal to be achieved, but a state of being to be experienced. It is found in the present moment, in the surrender to what is, and in the love that flows from within. Motherhood awakened this truth in me, and it has allowed me to experience a happiness that is lasting, real, and transformative. All of this and my baby isn’t even a one year old yet! As he continues to grow, so do I. He barely stops smiling and each moment of it fills my heart with overflowing joy. As everyone keeps calling him, he’s a true laughing little Buddha!

“And the angel answered her, ‘The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy and called the Son of God.’”
—Luke 1:31