Luminous Whispers

There was a time when I considered giving up on love. This world seemed to grow darker by the day, filled with fear, uncertainty, and misery—or perhaps, it was my own ego driven by fear that led me to this thought. I was a coward, a people pleaser, afraid of new experiences. The truth is, I was scared of almost everything, except for death. When we aren’t connected to our inner divinity, we don’t feel we belong in the world. As you can imagine, this kind of feeling isn’t ideal when you want to start a relationship with someone.

I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. I believe in destiny, in the idea that there is someone out there who is meant for each of us. I often prayed for my knight in shining armor—someone who would rescue me from the never-ending struggles of life. I told myself that when he came, I would let go of everything that was wrong in my life, and I would change to become a better person – isn’t it funny how the ego makes deals with the God? I think we all go through this in our secret, inner lives.

My realization of this kind of ego happened when I shocked myself by contemplating giving up on love. If I am a hopeless romantic, should I not always hold on to the belief that love—real love—is possible? In a moment of frustration, I said to God, “I give up. I’m done waiting. I’m done imagining a future with someone who is still unknown to me. Where is he? I feel ready, yet he is not here.”

In essence, all I asked of God was a loving and hard-working man. Loving, because I believe that true love means a person would do anything for you. Hard-working, because a hard-working man has goals, is bold, and has the courage to face life’s challenges. I wanted a family, a loving husband, and children. But in that moment, I gave up on all of it.

But as always, God has a way of showing us that we are never truly in control of our destiny. It was then that He brought Gene into my life.

At first, I ignored him. I had given up on love and didn’t want anyone new to enter my life. But Gene was different. He was courageous, intelligent, and didn’t give up on me, even when I gave him nothing. I thought he must be crazy or some kind of nerd, certainly not someone who would appeal to me. But despite my resistance, he found a way into my heart.

Our love story isn’t a fairytale. It is not the romantic story we all dream of sharing. It’s not one I would tell our children, but maybe when they are old enough. It’s not something meant for the world to know. But I’ll share what matters of it with you, because it’s a reminder that sometimes love comes from the most unexpected places.

Gene and I met in our darkest moments. Both of us were in pain, struggling with our own traumas and challenges. But in that darkness, we found each other. We shared the same wounds and life experiences, and together, we began to heal.

The first night we met, we had a date. Was it love at first sight? I don’t know. But I remember holding his hand first, an action that felt natural, though I couldn’t understand why at the time. In that moment, everything felt right. I felt an unexplainable connection, something deeper than romance. It was as if we had known each other for a long time.

He shared with me that he was a spiritual person, and I was happy to hear that. It felt like a positive sign. He showed me that he had a YouTube channel and that he was a writer. I wasn’t amazed or fascinated by it, but it was intriguing because everything he was doing aligned with the dreams I had for myself. My main feeling was that I was simply surprised by how deeply I connected with this beautiful soul.

It wasn’t long before we became engaged. As we shared more about our lives, Gene began to reveal the depths of our past lives together. At first, I was jealous of the revelations, but soon I saw quite a bit of our past lives too. In one life, Gene was a master, a healer, respected by all. It was in the old days, in a province of the Philippines. He was a simple man who dedicated his life to helping others. His love for books was constant, and I was always by his side—buying him books, supporting him, and encouraging his passion for knowledge. It was then that I realized that the person I was destined to be with forever was Gene.

Like any couple though, we face challenges, arguments, and difficulties. But we persist because we understand that love is not just about the sweet moments. It’s about facing each other’s flaws, embracing each other’s egos, and choosing to build a relationship based on trust, patience, and understanding.

True love, I believe, is not found in perfection but in the willingness to grow together. When we learn to love someone by accepting their ego, flaws, and imperfections, we give ourselves the chance to experience love in its purest form. It’s about building something lasting and meaningful, even through the trials we face.

How can you truly say that you love someone if you don’t understand their ego? Is love merely based on the good things we see? Is love determined by how much they care for us, or how much they love us in return? What, then, is love?

Can love remain when you encounter the darker side of your partner—when you witness their ego and the illusions they carry? What happens when you face their anger, their self-centredness, or their fear? Can you still claim to love them when they show you the most vulnerable and unflattering parts of themselves?

Love is not just about the sweetness of life. It is also about embracing the bitterness, for that too is part of the experience. Relationships are not easy. They demand constant effort, self-awareness, and sacrifice. Love is not about you or your partner alone; it is about both of you—how you help each other grow, heal, and navigate the journey of life together. It is about helping one another dissolve the ego and uncover the true essence beneath.

To love someone fully is to see them not just in their light but also in their shadow. It means accepting and loving their monsters, their flaws, and their hidden pain. Can you love them even knowing their deepest secrets? Can you still embrace them even when their ego takes control?

Love, at its core, is sacrifice. It requires letting go of your own attachments and desires in order to support the other person. It means stepping up when they are lost in their ego, offering love and understanding instead of judgment. A simple act of compassion—like a hug, a kiss, or a gentle word—can be the simplest yet most powerful key to guiding them back to their true self. When your partner is in the grip of their ego, don’t attack them. They are already suffering. It is in these moments that your consciousness and love can be the light that helps them rise above.

It is not an easy path. But when both partners are willing to sacrifice their pride, to work together, to heal together, the relationship becomes something beautiful. Love is a constant effort to dissolve ego—not just your own, but also the ego of the one you love. It is a journey of mutual growth, of constant support, and of shared responsibility.

I remember times when Gene and I would argue, sometimes for hours, sometimes for days. We were both stuck in our pride, unwilling to help each other. But once one of us was willing to sacrifice their ego and step forward, everything would shift. Now, even when we fight, we help each other heal. It no longer takes days to resolve our issues because we understand the importance of being present for one another, of guiding each other through our darkness and back into the light.

As long as we continue to work on our imperfections, we know we are on the right path. And so it is for all of us. With patience, love, and sacrifice, we will grow—together.

If you ask me whether I love Gene, I would say that my love for him transcends the ordinary concept of love. It is not infatuation, nor is it bound by fleeting emotions. Rather, it is an intense admiration, a recognition of his essence—his Being. He does not change who I am, yet through his words and actions, he inspires me to become the highest version of myself.

I do not merely “love” this man in the conventional sense; there are no words sufficient to express what I feel for him. But I will attempt to convey it through this thought:

“Like cosmic rays journeying across the infinite expanse, my love for you, my dear Gene, transcends time and space, carrying the eternal essence of the universe into our union.”

I am deeply grateful for everything I have in my life, for the awareness of my own Being, and for all that Gene teaches me—not just as my partner but as a guide, a reflection of the divine wisdom that leads me toward awakening. Who I am today is, in part, because of his presence, his guidance, and his unwavering light.

Though I still carry within me the remnants of ego and past wounds, even though I have not yet fully awakened, I walk this path with faith. Together, we journey toward the Absolute, toward the inner light that exists beyond illusion. We will build a sacred space, a world where no ego can penetrate, where no temptation can shake us, where no lust can obscure our vision—only the purity of Being, the radiance of consciousness, and the eternal light of the Divine.

For true love is not of the personality, nor of desire—it is the recognition of two souls walking the same path toward liberation. It is the fusion of two flames that burn with the longing for the Truth.

If you are single right now or facing struggles in your relationship, do not lose hope in love. True love is not without intense trials; it carries the weight of suffering, betrayal, and pain. My partner and I have also walked through these difficulties and more—bearing each other’s cross, yet we have endured through faith and perseverance.

Love is not about avoiding hardship but about overcoming it with patience, kindness, and a heart that remains open. As it is written in Corinthians 13:4-7:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

True love is patient—it does not rush, nor is it driven by desperation, but it waits upon God’s perfect timing. So do not give up on love, and do not close your heart. Keep loving, keep believing, and trust that in divine time, love will find its way. It always does, as long as we keep the way open.